The photo's you see are photos taken by Robert, you may ask why they are so significant, they really are significant because they represent a milestone for Robert one which is to be celebrated. There was a time when Robert’s crippling anxiety would prevent him from enjoying social activities and even leaving the house, now he is being asked to attend events for his photography skills. So, what changed and how has it impacted him?
Robert is an unpaid carer, he has a full-time caring role for his Mum, who is bed bound. As a sole carer with full responsibility for Mum, Robert co-ordinates all aspects of his mum’s care working alongside paid carers and professionals. As any unpaid carer will appreciate this is challenging enough but for Robert it is even more challenging due to his own health condition, which he must manage alongside his caring role. Through his childhood and adult life Robert knew he was different he struggled to socialise and interact with people, this has impacted Robert’s education, work and all social aspects of his life, his struggles were attributed to anxiety and depression. After different ineffective treatments over several years, a mental health nurse identified that Robert had autistic traits, this started Robert on a different path of self-discovery, whilst also trying to manage in a care role that often exacerbated his traits. Further investigations/assessments were completed by the appropriate professionals and Robert finally received his official diagnoses this year.
Roberts autistic traits contribute to him being an extremely thorough carer, his attention to detail, his need to be highly organised means that Mum never runs short of anything, the house runs like clockwork organised via a daily timetable, which Robert adheres to. Roberts care role has often become all-consuming mentally, unable to switch off and worrying about things outside of his control, the need for everything to be just right has often left Robert mentally drained. As any unpaid carer will know, it is very rare to always have everything under control due to the unexpected nature of caring, cancelled appointments, carers not being able to make planned time slots, communication problems between organisations, navigating organisations to find the right person for the right support, being told different things by different people. Robert found the unexpected issues of caring very hard to deal with, and would often be left feeling frustrated angry, isolated, and very anxious which in turn would make him even more focused on trying to prevent the unexpected Robert was stuck in cycle.
However whilst working with Robert I have seen change and progress, with support from the mental health team, in particular, the mental health nurse who supported Robert to be assessed for autism, his close friends who will help provide replacement care, I have seen Robert develop into a sociable self-reflective person who wants to improve his social interaction skills, socialise, attend concerts, go for walks and take part in his hobbies. Robert has had to face his biggest fears and challenges to learn to enjoy downtime, to be more flexible with his timetable so that he can have relaxing time at home, and also to do fun things. Over time Robert has gained confidence and will often self-reflect on his reactions to different circumstances, he continues to work on managing his condition focusing on his communication skills and emotional reaction to those everyday challenges where flexibility is required. Robert told me that one day when his care role ends, he aims to go back into the world of work, but hopefully a world which now is able to adjust to neurodiversity and provide support as opposed to punishment.
Back to the Photo’s, Robert has been asked to go back by the organisers to the next tribute concert they have scheduled, for Robert to do the photography for them in exchange for free entry and to meet the artist, Robert’s short review below has also been published, and he is also supporting a dance instructor teach dance with a class of U3A members. This is all credit to Robert’s hard work and effort.
Carers are people with their own needs, behind every care role there is an individual unique story.
Review and photos by Robert King
Celebrating George Michael
Just like one of George Michael's songs, Flawless, absolutely flawless. I have to say the night was something special from the start. This is no ordinary tribute act, far from it! I have seen many and every element of this one stands out far from the rest. Every detail was thought about from the song choice, the band, the projections, the story telling and the delivery of every number. The backing singers were impressive and blended superbly to Steve's vocals. Steve is a real showman and has a real passion for his art. Dave is a great musician and his vocals were amazing on, 'Don't let the sun go down on me'. The touching moment in the show was Steve asked the audience to remember George. I felt very moved that the band has given this special touch to the end of their show. I didn't leave the show disappointed and if you want to be entertained by true professionals this one is for you. So don't miss this one!!!!
